I know that everyone walks around w. some deal of pain. Scars that accumulated throughout your life that just never fully healed. You bury them and shut yourself off from feeling anything that brings you back to that dark time. You spend a great deal of time distracting yourself. You go into denial believing that you're ok and ignore it, but you are in constant pain. Some days are better than others. On a good day, you can handle stressing situations w. ease.. like a piece of cake and it just solidifies your belief that everything is ok. On a bad day, the slightest pain or discomfort causes you to just come undone. You find yourself saying and doing things that the better day version of you wouldn't do. Your anger doesn't fit the situation and you desire to cause others pain. You justify the pain you feel, to hurt others. Once you become lucid again, you realize that it wasn't the situation at hand. If you look closer, its connected to that thing you buried. You look back and hopefully, you acknowledge all the destruction and pain you've caused to those who love and care about you the most. Its heartbreaking to know that the ones you always hurt are the ones who love you. You fear beling alone but you, alone, are the driving force that keeps people away. You become a self fulfilling prophecy.
My personal work didn't make me perfect. It made me compassionate. It taught me that people are still good. Just sometimes their emotions get the best of them and make them do bad things. They didn't do this TO me, they just temporarily checked out. So, I get it. You're not a bad person. I'm not judging you. I wish you healing, so you may be loved like you deserve.
I believe if you don't heal your pain, you'll never stop bleeding and continue to hurt others.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
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