Happy Sinko de Mayo!

I was upset with my mother this past week. She made me feel little for being upset and crying. She wasn't acknowledging that her daughter was upset but telling me that I shouldn't be bothered by something so trivial. "Why are you crying over that?! Stop crying." she said. I tried to sleep it off and give myself some time to shake it off. The next morning, I still felt she was being insensitive and called her up. I let her have it, telling her that I had turned to her for comfort and not for her to "fix" my problems. That I felt that she belittled me and made me feel like less of a person. I asked her, "When you call me crying, do I tell you how stupid you are? Do I make you feel worse? I listen to you when you cry, why cant you?". At this point, I believe I was livid. I explained to her that with me, crying is a process to a resolution.

Why is crying seen as being weak? Its natural. Out of all the species, humans are the only ones to cry. She asks why I am such an emotional adult and comments that I wasn't like this as a child. I told her that her method didn't work for me and that I choose to be honest w. my feelings and myself.

comfort zone

If you're comfortable, you're not growing.

With that said, this years mantra was to step out of my comfort zone. So far, I have learned so much in the first three months. I've taken a html +css class. I found myself to be more tolerant of certain types of people(not by much). I have also found a new avenue where I can take my creative and design aesthetics. These small experiences has definitely humbled me and broadened my perspective. Its painful and hard as hell but I shall continue what I started. 

Dear Lee sisters:

 my heart goes out to you and your family. she sure was a fighter and will be missed. <3

I need some haters

During my lifetime, I learned that people get inspired through pain and haters.

In the words of Katt Williams, "If you've got haters then you're doing something right".

So, by all means, bring on the hate!

loss

Today, we lost a legend.

pants on fire

I was recently contacted by someone's about their significant other. I haven't spoken to that person in ages and the things they were inquiring about has stirred quite a bit of curiosity in me. Has something happened to expose their significant other? I wonder what prompted his search for answers.

His situation struck a cord with me with a recent happening. When my relationships are made, I give them 100% trust and am 100% loyal. I keep mental notes of  things they do that are positive/negative. I'll keep the negative notes to myself. But when I catch them doing something such as lying, the house of cards begin to crumble. Trust goes out the window, and my mind starts to race and I begin to question their authenticity. Has the same thing happened to them? Anyways, in my case, I don't know if its even worth confronting them. They'll just probably tell me another lie to cover up for their previous lie.