from the heart

Coming from a creative background, then conforming to the average population is taking its toll on me. My current work sometimes allows me to be creative, most of the times not. I am supposed to be this creative beast. HEAR ME ROAR!

But until then,

To be whole, let yourself break.
To be straight, let yourself bend.
To be full, let yourself be empty.
To be new, let yourself wear out.
To have everything, give everything up.

Knowing others is a kind of knowledge;
knowing yourself is wisdom.
Conquering others requires strength;
conquering yourself is true power.
To realize that you have enough is true wealth.
Pushing ahead may succeed,
but staying put brings endurance.
Die without perishing, and find the eternal.

To know that you do not know is strength.
Not knowing that you do not know is a sickness.
The cure begins with the recognition of the sickness.

Knowing what is permanent: enlightenment.
Not knowing what is permanent: disaster.
Knowing what is permanent opens the mind.
Open mind, open heart.
Open heart, magnanimity.

-Tao Te Ching

me

I know that everyone walks around w. some deal of pain. Scars that accumulated throughout your life that just never fully healed. You bury them and shut yourself off from feeling anything that brings you back to that dark time. You spend a great deal of time distracting yourself. You go into denial believing that you're ok and ignore it, but you are in constant pain. Some days are better than others. On a good day, you can handle stressing situations w. ease.. like a piece of cake and it just solidifies your belief that everything is ok. On a bad day, the slightest pain or discomfort causes you to just come undone.  You find yourself saying and doing things that the better day version of you wouldn't do. Your anger doesn't fit the situation and you desire to cause others pain. You justify the pain you feel, to hurt others. Once you become lucid again, you realize that it wasn't the situation at hand. If you look closer, its connected to that thing you buried. You look back and hopefully, you acknowledge all the destruction and pain you've caused to those who love and care about you the most. Its heartbreaking to know that the ones you always hurt are the ones who love you. You fear beling alone but you, alone, are the driving force that keeps people away. You become a self fulfilling prophecy.

My personal work didn't make me perfect. It made me compassionate. It taught me that people are still good. Just sometimes their emotions get the best of them and make them do bad things. They didn't do this TO me, they just temporarily checked out. So, I get it. You're not a bad person. I'm not judging you. I wish you healing, so you may be loved like you deserve.

I believe if you don't heal your pain, you'll never stop bleeding and continue to hurt others.

me

I'd rather be happy
than right. :)

happy love day.

tell everyone that means something to you just how much they mean to you.

from the heart

Thinking about you...
Sending you light and love your way.